Dear Abby: When we mail a sympathy card to a grieving friend many miles away, we often enclose a check to help finance a memorial to their church or other favored institution. Our problem comes three or more months later, when the check still hasn’t cleared. What is the socially appropriate way of reminding them to cash the check short of calling and saying, “Hey, get with the program and cash the check!”?
—Uncleared in the Midwest
Dear Uncleared,
Contact the person and say, “I notice that the check I sent for ‘—-’s’ memorial still hasn’t been cashed. Did you receive it, or could it have been lost in the mail?” Phrasing it this way is not a breach of etiquette.
Read more Dear Abby and other advice columns.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.