Dear Annie: After 30 years of friendship, raising kids together, losing our parents and a very good mutual friend, traveling together with our families and so much more, my friend told me after the election last year that she had trouble being around “people like me.” In other words, I voted wrongly. I told her that I loved her and that our friendship means more to me than political differences and her response was, “It’s not that simple for me.”
I hadn’t reached out to her until a few months ago when I knew her first grandbaby was born (I found out through social media). I sent a nice text and her response was “Who is this?” I can accept that friends aren’t always who you think they are, but I keep thinking of her and hate the idea that she is so angry at the world and our country that she would let this happen to our friendship.
Should I reach out again or let it fade away for good? — Friendship Falling Out
Dear Falling Out: After 30 years of memories, it must be surreal to have someone you thought would always be in your corner respond with, “Who is this?” You handled it with grace — reaching out, expressing your love and giving her space to come around.
If your friend has decided politics matter more than your character and years of loyalty, there’s not much you can do to sway her. Leave the door cracked, but don’t push her to walk through it. You’ve already tried campaigning your way back into her good graces. Now it’s her move.
Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].
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