Dear Eric: One of my husband’s son’s is going through an ongoing divorce, many years.
A few years ago, he started storing equipment, tools, bikes, and more in our garage, attic, shed and basement. Our garage is packed to the ceiling, and we cannot use it for many of our own things. We felt badly for him when he first told us of his “plight”, and we said he
could store some things. He usually waits to bring more things in when I am not home.
It has now gotten a bit over the top. He is going to be leaving his “marital” home and possibly will have “more stuff.” He has other family and friends whom he can ask, but we seem to be the local storage unit. He is a good, thoughtful guy and not a “kid”.
I reminded my husband that this is our house, not a storage unit and there are plenty of suitable storage places in our area. My husband seems perfectly OK with this.
– Packed to the Rafters
Dear Rafters: Your husband’s son needs to get a storage unit (and possibly a more expedient divorce attorney). His life may be marked by upheaval because of the divorce, but it would be wise for him to figure out a feasible plan for his belongings. It sounds like he has a significant amount of stuff. He may need to downsize. He has options, but you and your husband might have to force the issue.
You write that your husband seems OK with everything. It’s time to have a clear conversation about your differences. Reiterate that this is not the way you want to live, ask him if he can understand where you’re coming from, and then get his take on it. If he thinks it’s no big deal, ask him to say more about that. And then see if you both can come up with a solution that works for both of you.
Maybe it’s reclaiming one of the zones – leaving the son the attic, shed and basement, but taking back the garage. Or maybe it’s a full-scale eviction. See what works for both of you, but don’t accept any more stuff.
Read more Asking Eric and other advice columns.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.