DEAR ERIC: My husband and I have been married for almost 32 years. He’s retired military and works as a civilian. All those years as military he wore the standard uniform, plus boots.
Well, some time back he visited Texas and bought some cowboy boots. Mind you, he had always been the non-clothes horse guy – simple jeans and shoes.
Well, now some kind of urban cowboy switch was turned on, and he has gone full-on cowboy! We are talking wearing boots with his work clothes, including collar tips and cowboy hat. I am perplexed. The cowboy aesthetic is not my thing and honestly looks out of place where we live (DMV) and his work.
It almost feels costume-y to me, and I don’t know what to do. It’s awkward to go anywhere in my casual clothes accompanied by my rootin’ tootin’ dressed husband.
How can I gently say anything? He would never comment on my clothes, and I want to respect his choices, but this feels so awkward. Should I be concerned about his mental judgment? He has now ordered three pairs of boots and wears them more frequently. Help!
– Rootin’ Tootin’ Trouble
DEAR ROOTIN’ TOOTIN’: Let him get his yeehaw on in peace. I understand your confusion and agree that it’s a little eccentric, but we’re all allowed our harmless eccentricities. It sounds like he’s exploring a new form of self-expression. Maybe he got really into the television show “Yellowstone;” maybe he just likes the feel of cowboy boots. It’s all fine.
Try to lead with curiosity if you talk with him about it. Curiosity can be hard, I know, when the truth is we just don’t agree with another person’s choice. But see if you can leave your opinion aside and ask him what’s motivating this change in style. If he feels your genuine interest, he may share something that surprises you. Maybe there’s no big idea behind the change, but it’s always enlightening to hear about the things that excite others. At the very least, it’ll give you more insight into your spouse’s inner life.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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