For 17 years, the son’s bedroom has remained untouched. There’s a good chance that over the past few days of this Thanksgiving weekend, the father has stepped inside the bedroom, where memories come flooding back.
The son went to Heaven back in 2008, and ever since, the father has been thankful for the 46 years his son spent on earth.
“Has it really been 17 years?” former Alabama football coach Gene Stallings asked me. “I was thinking the other day about how long he’s been gone.”
I felt sad for the Bama coaching legend, sad the years have moved by so quickly, sad that time wouldn’t slow down a bit to give the coach more time to think about the good times.
Memories are everywhere right down the hall in Johnny’s room. Each picture and trinket tells the story of a son and a brother and a friend who made the world a beautiful place.
“I walk into Johnny’s room often,” Stallings told me. “I think of the good times I had with Johnny. I’m thankful for my wife, Ruth Ann, and my four daughters and my grandchildren, but when He decides to take me, I’m alright with Him because I’ll see Johnny.”
As the holiday weekend winds down, goodbye hugs and kisses are in order at Hike-A-Way Ranch in Paris, Texas. Many of Coach Stallings and Ruth Ann’s children, 10 grandchildren and three great-grandchildren will head their separate ways after a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend.
They will pass John Mark Stallings’ resting place that sits just inside the property.
They will be thankful for the most kind, patient person they knew.
He was born at Druid City Hospital in Tuscaloosa. John Mark Stallings came into the world on June 11, 1962. A doctor at DCH told Gene and Ruth Ann Stallings thier son had Down syndrome and a heart defect.
It was moments later when Coach Stallings woke due to the smelling salts nurses were administering him. It must have been the shock.
“When Johnny was little, doctors told my parents they needed to enjoy their son every day they had him,” Johnny’s sister Laurie Vanderpool told me. “We learned to be thankful and blessed.”
“Johnny had a pure heart,” said Johnny’s sister Martha Kate Gunn. “He believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy until the day he died.”
Said Johnny’s sister Jackie Chalk, “Johnny had such empathy for people that if someone near him was crying, he would sit down and cry alongside them. If there was a person on earth that was close to being angelic, it was Johnny.
“He not only had a great sense of humor, but he was so thoughtful and kind. He would give his national championship ring to anyone who asked for it.”
Added Johnny’s sister Anna Lee Young, “Johnny was a perfect example of unconditional love. He was always happy to see his sisters, and he absolutely loved his nieces and nephews.”
Times were hectic for the Stallings family in the ‘60s and ‘70s. Four girls and John Mark made for a busy household as they went from Tuscaloosa to College Station to Dallas to St. Louis to Phoenix and back to Tuscaloosa.
John Mark, the always-positive middle child, became America’s feel good story as he was introduced to the country in a national United Way spot in the late ‘80s. And everywhere Johnny went, from practice fields to stadiums to the RISE Center in Tuscaloosa, John Mark never judged.
John Mark Stallings was a star in the early ‘90s. His father was the head coach of the mighty Crimson Tide, and John Mark went all in.
“Losing was very hard on Johnny,” said Anna Lee. “Johnny was so invested in the team. He thought Bama was supposed to win every game it played.”
Yet, even in dark times, it was John Mark who did the consoling.
“Johnny saw the best in everyone. His heart was truly happy. He could cheer us up when we felt down,” added Martha Kate.
The 1992 football season was magical for then 30-year-old John Mark Stallings. His father led the Crimson Tide to the national championship, and Johnny’s three words to his father after the win meant more to Coach Stallings than any three words he had heard:
“Good job, Pop.”
His eyes scan his son’s room. It’s where John Mark died on Aug. 2, 2008. “I was with Johnny the night before when his oxygen level was low,” Coach Stallings told me when I visited him at the ranch months after John Mark passed.
“Johnny said, ‘Don’t worry, Pop, I fine,’” Coach Stallings told me. “Johnny never complained. The next morning, he was gone.”
So many memories flow from Johnny’s room. The houndstooth hat, the VHS tapes of the Million Dollar Band. Johnny loved the Million Dollar Band.
The Alabama caps and the Big Al blanket.
So many pictures, pictures of Johnny and his parents, the picture of Johnny and his dad on their fancy golf cart, even a painting depicting Texas A&M’s win over Texas (Coach Stallings was the head coach of the Aggies from 1965 to 1971).
Coach Stallings’ heart hurts a bit when he walks into Johnny’s room, and when he climbs on his tractor, he misses Johnny just as much.
“Johnny loved getting in his golf cart and looking at the cows,” Coach Stallings told me as he recalled John Mark daily perusing the family’s 700-acre ranch.
“Johnny would always take a break from looking at the cows and give my father a Diet Coke,” said Martha Kate.
Thanksgiving is a wonderful time, yet sometimes a sorrowful time, too. We are thankful for our loved ones and we are thankful for those we have lost. The Stallings family is no different from the rest of us, as they have spent this holiday weekend giving thanks to one another and remembering a son and a brother.
“Johnny transformed our family,” said Laurie. “I give thanks to the Lord every day for having Johnny as a brother. Of course, he taught me how to be thankful every day.”
Coach Stallings and his wife of 69 years are staying strong. Over the past few myriad health issues, including a double hip replacement. He’s 90 years old, yet he still climbs on his beloved tractor as often as he can.
“My tractor is a lot like me,” the coach told me. “As long as I can get it started in the morning, it’s good for the rest of the day.”
Coach Stallings misses those golf cart and tractor rides with his son. His companions the last several years have been his dogs named Buddy. “I have named my last several dogs ‘Buddy’ so I won’t forget their names,” said the coach as he let out a deep cackle.
As the Bama coaching legend takes life day to day, like his son, he keeps his humor intact. “I am doing about as good as a 90-year-old who has suffered a heart attack and three strokes can do,” he told me. “I might not be at my best these days, but it sure does beat the alternative.”
Another week is underway, and as Stallings family members head back to their homes, Gene and Ruth Ann will give thanks for the blessings of family and friends, former coaches and former players. And Coach Stallings and Ruth Ann will give thanks for what their son brought the world for 46 years.
The wonderful son who never judged.
The wonderful son who left beautiful, endless memories.
Right down the hall in Johnny’s room.