Dear Annie: My best friend, “Cara,” has been dating a guy for about six months who, frankly, none of our friends can stand. He talks over her constantly, makes inappropriate jokes, and once made a rude comment about her weight right in front of us. She brushed it off like it was nothing, but I could tell she was embarrassed.
Since she started dating him, she’s pulled away. She skips our group dinners, ignores messages in the group chat, and when I ask if everything’s OK, she just says she’s “doing great!”
I’m worried she’s isolating herself, either because of him or because she knows we don’t like him — but I’m not sure how to bring it up without sounding judgmental or pushing her further away.
I miss my friend, and I’m also concerned for her. But every time I try to talk about it, she shuts down the conversation. How do I let her know I’m here for her without making her feel attacked? — Watching Her Slip Away
Dear Watching Her Slip Away: You say you don’t want to sound judgmental — but if the guy’s as awful as you describe, judgment is overdue!
Still, tread lightly. If you push too hard, she’ll pull away more.
You might look like the bad guy now by voicing your opinion, but over the long haul, you’ll be the friend who saved her from a terrible mistake.
Read more Dear Annie and other advice columns.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].
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