Dear Annie: I’m 28 and have been dating my boyfriend, “Marcus,” for a little over a year. He’s kind, funny, responsible — and everyone in my life seems to adore him. The problem is, I don’t think I’m in love with him.
I’ve been trying to figure out if it’s just a rough patch or if I’m forcing something that’s not there. There’s no big issue; he treats me well, we rarely argue, and on paper, it looks like we’re a perfect match. But I find myself feeling distant and uninterested when we’re together. I dread having serious talks with him because I know he’s much more invested than I am.
I’ve stayed because I keep thinking maybe those deeper feelings will grow, or maybe I’m just being too picky. I’ve even wondered if I’m just scared to leave something good without a “real” reason. But is the absence of love reason enough?
How do I know if it’s worth holding on — or if it’s kinder to let go? — Feeling Unsure in Charlotte
Dear Unsure: You don’t need a “reason” to choose yourself, and you should never pick a partner based on other people’s criteria.
That said, have you fully opened your heart to Marcus? Have you created opportunities and initiated conversations that allow you to get to know each other on a deeper level?
If the answer is yes and you still feel consistently distant and uninterested when you spend time with him, then you already have your answer. A loveless relationship is not one worth being in.
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