DEAR ABBY: My best friend “Troy” and I hang out all the time. We do everything together, and people often mistake us for a couple. Troy wouldn’t correct people until I said something, but since then, I noticed how it started feeling more like a relationship. We don’t hold hands or kiss, but he asks me what I’m doing, who I’m with and things like that when he’s not around.
Every time we’re on the phone we say “I love you” to each other before hanging up. I have feelings for him. He says he doesn’t have the same for me, but he’s the one who is making it feel like it’s a relationship. I have asked him to stop because it’s confusing, but it only lasts for a little bit before we are right back to it.
I can’t tell if he wants a relationship but just not with me, or if he doesn’t know for sure how he feels about me. What can I do about this? Can you help? — MIXED UP IN MONTANA
DEAR MIXED UP: You have made clear that you want a relationship with Troy. He has stated plainly that he doesn’t have romantic feelings for you.
True, he enjoys your company and tells you he loves you, but he doesn’t hold hands or kiss you. Most importantly, he DOESN’T say he is IN love with you.
Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about this. If you are looking for a boyfriend, Troy is not it. You appear to be firmly in the friend zone. You have my sympathy.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.