Dear Reverend,
I like dogs, but I’m not what you would call a dog person. I recently started dating a man who has one, and the first time I stayed at his house, the dog slept in bed with us. I was really uncomfortable with that, but I didn’t say anything. I would like to get to know this guy better, but I’m not sure how to tell him that I think sleeping with a dog is gross. What should I do?
Red Rover (man, 43)
Dear Red Rover,
I have three cats, and nothing beats the feeling of having them all cozied up in bed with me. If a guy I just started dating told me that he didn’t want my cats in bed, I’d have to tell him “Tough titties, I’m sleeping with my kitties” and show him the door.
I don’t know if your fella would have such a hard line, but tread lightly if you’re going to bring up the subject. Animal lovers usually don’t take kindly to an outsider’s input on how they treat their pet. Remember, the dog was there first.
If you would like to stay at this guy’s house more often, discuss the issue sooner rather than later. You should be honest, and you can talk about hygiene concerns, but avoid using words like “gross” when referring to his dog.
It may be wise to put the blame on yourself rather than the dog by saying you need more room to sleep comfortably. Or maybe you’re a light sleeper and the dog moving around at night wakes you up. Ask if it’s possible to have the dog sleep in their own bed nearby when you stay over. Keep in mind that option may take patience if the dog is used to sleeping next to their person.
Hopefully you’ll be able to work things out, but it’s certainly possible this could be a relationship deal-breaker. If that turns out to be the case, at least you found out early on that you were barking up the wrong tree.
Good luck and God bless,
The Reverend