DEAR ABBY: I am in a warm and loving relationship. We have been together 20 years. We both were married before to horrible people. We both said in the beginning that we did not want to remarry. However, as we are getting older and my health is not so good, I would like to marry him.
I have hinted a couple of times that I would like a ring for Christmas or my birthday. Nothing has gotten through. How can I bring this up to him? Also, if he’s set against marriage, how do I talk to him about power of attorney and stuff? — EYE TO THE FUTURE IN MISSISSIPPI
DEAR EYE: A ring should be the least of your concerns. You are long overdue for a serious conversation with your partner. If he were to have a medical emergency, would he want you to make medical decisions about his care? The same is true for financial decisions. Does he have a will? Do you?
You both should be talking about this with an attorney who can guide you. You should also have health care directives in place and shared with your doctor.
If, after 20 years with you, this man is still marriage-phobic, there are ways you can be protected that don’t involve a trip to the altar. Please start exploring them NOW.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.